“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” Leo Buscaglia
“I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.” Mark Twain
Worry is an emotion that many of us experience daily. However, as Leo Buscaglia and Mark Twain’s quotes suggest, worry often robs us of our joy and leads us to stress about things that may never happen.
In this blog post, we’ll explore the roots of worry, how it affects our mental well-being, and how a technique called “tapping” can help us break free from the vicious cycle of worry.
Understanding Worry and Its Effects on Our Mental Health
The Origin of Worry: Our Brain’s Attempt to Protect Us
Worry is, in fact, our brain’s way of trying to be helpful and safeguard us from potential problems. When you face a dilemma, your brain believes that finding solutions is crucial for your well-being. However, the issue arises when the brain presents an overwhelming number of options, leading you to ponder, “Which solution should I pick?” This uncertainty is what creates worry.
There are certainly many common situations that can trigger worry in everyday life:
- Financial concerns: Worrying about paying bills, saving for the future, or managing debt.
- Work-related issues: Deadlines, job security, career progression, and workplace conflicts.
- Health concerns: Illnesses, both acute and chronic, or the health of loved ones can be a significant cause of worry. Additionally, concerns about maintaining a healthy lifestyle, such as exercise and diet.
- Relationships: Conflict or communication issues with family, friends, or romantic partners can lead to feelings of worry and unease. The fear of losing someone or dealing with a breakup can also be a trigger for worry.
- Parenting: Raising children comes with numerous worries, such as their health, education, social development, and general well-being.
- Major life decisions: Choosing a career path, deciding whether to move to a new city, or making a significant investment.
- Social situations: Fear of being judged, rejected, or not fitting in.
- Time management: Balancing work, family, and personal time can be challenging, leading to worry about meeting all the demands and expectations placed upon us.
- Global issues: Worry about political instability, climate change, or social injustices can also be a trigger for many people.
- Personal growth: Concerns about personal development, such as setting and achieving goals or overcoming personal challenges.
The Vicious Cycle of Worry, Anxiety, and Stress
The problem with worry is that it tends to intensify, creating a cycle of anxiety and stress. When the brain can’t settle on a solution, it restarts the entire process, generating even more options and concerns.
This recurring loop can contribute to sleep deprivation, which in turn renders us more susceptible to unwelcome thoughts and feelings. The more we worry, the more we fuel the cycle, making it increasingly difficult to break free.
Paralysis in the Face of Worry
When we worry, our brain enters a state of paralysis, prompting us to consider everything that could go awry. As previously mentioned, the brain generates many solutions, inadvertently increasing anxiety. Amidst this turmoil, adopting a “Let’s cross that bridge when we get to it” mindset becomes challenging. Discerning the bigger picture and finding a way out of the seemingly endless loop can be incredibly difficult in such situations.
Next we’ll look at how “tapping” can help break the cycle of worry and guide us towards a more worry-free mindset. By understanding the nature of worry and learning how to manage it effectively, we can improve our mental health and overall well-being.
Tapping: A Technique to Break Free from Worry
Starting with “What If” Questions
To begin addressing our worries, we can start by asking ourselves a series of “What if” questions. These questions help shift our focus from the negative aspects of worry to more positive and constructive thoughts. By considering alternative scenarios, we can change our perspective and ultimately reduce the intensity of our worries.
Some examples of these questions include:
- What if I could change this worry state?
- What if I could react differently?
- What if I could change how I feel?
- What if things could work out OK?
- What if it’s OK not to know the answer to…?
- What if it is OK not to be OK with…?
The last question allows us to openly acknowledge our emotions, which is an essential step towards feeling better.
Here are some specific examples of “What if” questions:
Work-Related Stress
- What if I could find a way to manage my workload more effectively?
- What if I could communicate my concerns with my manager or colleagues?
- What if I could find a better work-life balance?
- What if I could focus on one task at a time instead of multitasking?
- What if it’s okay to ask for help when I need it?
Relationship Issues
- What if I could express my feelings openly and honestly with my partner?
- What if I could let go of past hurt and focus on the present?
- What if it’s okay to set boundaries in my relationships?
- What if I could be more understanding and compassionate towards others?
- What if I could accept that people change and grow over time?
Health Concerns
- What if I could take small steps towards a healthier lifestyle?
- What if it’s okay to seek professional help for my health concerns?
- What if I could be more patient with myself and my healing process?
- What if I could find ways to manage my stress levels to improve my health?
- What if it’s okay to prioritise my own well-being and self-care?
By asking these tailored “What if” questions, you can shift your focus from worry to potential solutions and positive outcomes.
Acknowledging Our Emotions and Starting to Feel Better
Once we have contemplated these “What if” questions, we can begin to address our emotions and tap into a more positive mindset. Tapping, also known as Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), is a powerful tool for reducing stress, anxiety, and worry.
By tapping on specific points on our body while focusing on our emotions, we can release negative energy and begin to feel better.
To effectively use tapping to overcome worry, we must first acknowledge the emotions we are experiencing and then tap on these emotions.
How to Tap to Overcome Worry
Tapping on the side of the hand
To begin, tap on the side of your hand (also known as the karate chop point) while reciting affirmations of self-acceptance and love. Repeat these affirmations three times, for example:
- Even though I have all these thoughts running around my head, I love and accept myself.
- Even though I have all this chatter that just keeps repeating itself, I love and accept myself completely.
- Even though all these ‘What if’ thoughts are creating worry, I completely love and accept myself.
Tapping Points
After reciting these affirmations, proceed to tap on various points on your body while focusing on the emotions and thoughts associated with your worry. The tapping points include:
- Eyebrow: all these thoughts in my head
- Side of Eye: the chatter that keeps repeating
- Under Eye: all these What ifs that keep repeating themselves
- Under the Nose: the anxiety that goes with these thoughts
- Chin: these thoughts make me feel out of control
- Collar Bone: my brain thinks it’s being helpful with all these suggestions
- Top of Head: my brain is creating more anxiety
Doing Two Rounds of Tapping
Perform two rounds of tapping, adding your own words and thoughts as needed. After completing the tapping, take a deep breath and notice any changes in your emotions and thoughts.
During the tapping process, you might experience a variety of emotional and physical sensations as you release pent-up energy and address your worries. Many people report a reduction in anxiety and an increased sense of calm and relaxation as they tap on the various points. This is likely due to the soothing effect of tapping, which can help to regulate the nervous system and decrease stress levels.
Some people might also feel a sense of emotional release as they confront their worries and negative emotions, leading to a feeling of lightness or relief. It’s not uncommon for people to become more aware of their bodily sensations during tapping, such as noticing areas of tension or feeling warmth, tingling, or energy moving through the body. These sensations are often indicative of the body’s natural healing process and the restoration of balance in the energy system.
Through tapping, we can begin to break free from the cycle of worry and cultivate a more worry-free mindset.
By acknowledging our emotions and using effective techniques to manage them, we can improve our mental health and overall well-being.
